traditions

Christmas was warm and cozy as it should be. There's nothing like the glow of the Christmas tree, a kamikazee bunny who unwrapped most of the presents before Christmas day, and the special Advent deer, whose antlers remind us of joy and peace and...

let's Up&Date

1. Mexico--fabulous. Relaxation. Laughter. Pottery. Vibrant paint. French butter.

2. Dad's sugery--over. Scary. Prank phone calling. Low oxygen. Still hospitalized.

3. Fall semester--also finished. Too much math. Relief.

4. Next semester's word--consequence. Denotively. Connotatively.

5. IHOP onething--anticipation. Oh yeah. Warm jackets.

6. Summer--N wants us to maybe work in Alaska for a month.

holi-days

This has been a week of suffering for N, who has been incredibly sick. This year, our Thanksgiving dinner was Activa yogurt (he had blueberry; i had cherry). He's not yet fully well, but he seems to be mending. The photos are of us lying around the house today.

the fox and the apples

searching

If I could trace the lines that ran
Between your smile and your sleight of hand
I would guess that you put something up my sleeve
Now every time I see your face the bells ring in a far-off place
We can find each other this way I believe
Come and find me now

There is no earth, no tomb, no dates
graven into stone
No place to come to visit you
to speak to you to close my eyes
and hold you in my heart

Though I'm here in this far off place
My air is not this time and space
I draw you close with every breath
You don't know it's right until it's wrong
You don't know it's yours until it's gone
I didn't know that it was home ‘til you up and left
Come and find me now

existence even in death should be binary, at least for now
but, where are you, the unburied one
the childsized hole carved into my once whole heart
i cried all night
because i was made to hold the pain in a way I must never have been made to hold you

I keep you in a flower vase
With your fatalism and your crooked face
With the daisies and the violet brocades
And I keep me in a vacant lot
In the ivy and forget-me-nots
Hoping you will come and untangle me one of these days
Come and find me now

(words in italics by J. Ritter)

right now...

I am reading...currently and sporadically, though constantly (every day)...from one of these. They are all fabulous. Caesar (because I needed a gigantic bio to placate the scholar), Dead Heat because...hello! It's Dick Francis' new book, Gilead--amazing--it reads like a basil exhale, and Summer Before Dark (that whole Lessing-Nobel prize thingy).

Oh...and Jenica told me Dumbledore is gay. I don't think that is for J.K. to determine though.

"baykus" (etymology: J Renee)

For my uncle's 60th, we are supposed to bring him sixty of something. So lately, I have been busy writing 60 haikus to bring. He now lives at the bay house once built by my grandfather. It is the stuff of family legends. Here are some of my memories there encased in haikus:

Bird or Indian
Branch of imagination
Is driftwood

Squeezing through my toes
Oozes the brown mushy mud
Full of squish

Beachwater-Baylight
Castle of Young Patriarchs
Ruled by Bills

Think of Mobile Bay
When you feel so far away
Then it’s near

The fiery orb
Drowns in the night’s warm waters
Ah…sunset

Swat smack go for blood!
Kill that little sucker quick!
Yellowflies

Man shall not live by
Land alone, for he shall live
By the sea

Put on the armor
The battle is not against
Flesh but fish

Put on the armor
Your old Tennis shoes and gig
Flounder waits

Try not to scare them
Step lightly or slide your feet
Gig em quick

I wade out in peace
In the bay and the silence
Lost in thought

Pelican preachers
Have church on the old posts with
Their big mouths

thoughts on a note / notes on a thought

Clutching the cold porcelain,
exhausted and inflamed,
and rebuked by my own vomit,
I remind myself that
I should chew my chicken into smaller pieces.

I wonder around the thought:
is it responsible to bring children into this world?
This is an arctic desert thought,
a note sung by one with a good ear and a bad voice,
CNN its muse.
What a world. I have a headline hangover.

the wild life

we also saw some human wildlife

they were lobster red people of skin

only skin

and that which fills it out

-----------

we also saw my sister's new house

in orlando

with tall ceilings and great arches

that curve it out

-----------

we also did not see the sand fleas

on the beach

but they attacked us anyway

and i still itch

The Tale of Skippy, the Island Dog

the escape

This weekend, Amy and I had planned to go to Fragrant Oil, but after the fiasco that was this past week, we decided it would be too much. So, we decided to go down to the caves instead. We took a picnic lunch, marveled at the wildlife, did a little hiking in a very old forest, and then descended into the caves. It was such a beautiful place, and we all can't wait to go again. N&I corrupted Caleb and Andi by teaching them how to buy lottery tickets. It was good fun.

when you come to the end of your rope, it's time to hang something

i am sick of my job for the wrong sad reason: OTHER INSTRUCTORS

who are lazy, hurtful, incompetent, gossips, negative, unpleasant, liars, false accusers, selfish, and illogical

i could and probably should quit

then i would be naked, starving, and homeless
it would probably be a step up compared to my current environment

booklover

i'm learning

Below are three comments that people have said around me, but not to me directly. They were for me though. I know because I can't shake them.

1) The Halls in reference to what an African told them while they spent the summer in Africa: "We don't need Americans to send money. We need people to come and die here."

2) Keith: "You cannot view any other believer as your enemy or as a potential enemy. Regardless of how the church has hurt you in the past, look beyond that person to the source of evil and direct your righteous indignation there. But do not allow other believers to become enemies."

3) Anna & Laura: " 'It does not matter what you do for your cv because God has a plan and if you follow him, his plan can be completed in you.' At first I was mad because I was ashamed that I had not thought of that."

my today's poem

it’s the gray swirl at the bottom
of (some) sweet teas

head bowed in drink
i notice it
with confusion (repulsion)

you know it is sugar
but you want to vomit

you know
that cloud is sweetness
and impurity

it’s gray
and separate
and in motion

and I swallow it
with the heart of a minor prophet

organic ~ natural ~ vegan products I'd like to recommend...

1) Bonterra Organic Syrah





I'm not a huge lover of syrah, but we had this wine for my birthday, and it was amazing. Wine Enthusiast touts it as a "complex and elegant wine [that] is certified organic. The bouquet has dimension, with cherry, leather, chalk, meat and cigar-box notes. Lightweight on the palate, it is nicely textured and delivers lots of fruit flavor. Firm acids support the fruit and a cocoa-spice finish wraps it up neatly." Everyone at the table (who all greatly differed in wine preference and knowledge) LOVED it! http://www.winoworld.com/






2) Peppermint and Tea Tree Bath Bar from Boll Weevil Soap Company





This is a shea butter, all-natural soap that feels amazing in the morning. This is the only soap N&I use; even if we go out of town, I pack it. Its fans include Nicholas in Romania and Jenica in Orlando; we send some their way every now and then. It's an Alabama product made by some good friends in Enterprise, AL. Actually, I love everything they sell. The milk bath in herbal garden is my favorite way to relax. Jenica also likes the Sweet Home Alabama scent...warm apples. http://www.bwsoap.com/





3) Figure 8 Chews from Arbonne



Although billed as a "weight loss" product, these are really all-vegan, all-herbal energy chews, and my quality of life/ health/ energy levels have drastically changed since I met them (thank to Liz for the heads up). http://www.arbonne.com


4) Agave Nectar

Most grocery stores, even in Dothan, are carrying this product now. It's an all-natural, light sweetener to which my sister introduced me. GREAT in (light) teas, particularly camomille, jasmine, or berry-based teas. Not so good in lapsang souchou.

squeeze a bunny

this weekend...we worked like madpeople...or like people who are trying to finish the semester and start the next one...it was full of craziness.

saturday, we read the new harry potter pretty much straight through as a break from rhetoric/research papers. tears fell the last 100 pages because...i have real love for fiction, and this very special creative moment was ending. from here, it is just reminiscence.

we stacked pillows in staggered piles, rising to near-bed level so that Buttercup could climb up them and jump on the bed when she needed some love & attention.

i also found this photo when going through my seemingly endless, hard-drive-space-eating "My Pictures" folder.

the birthday victim

My birthday has come and gone once again. I nearly bit my own finger in half and ended up sniffling at Hunts because there were no oysters. However, I have sweet friends who made sure the ridge in my fingernail would not be my only memory.

1. Janet and Andi cookied my car, and it was AWESOME. Andi used some bunny cupcake holders to create a little orginal artwork for the day. Unfortunately, I have no pics. Andi might though, considering she is a photographer.

2. The Thursday crew brought me this birthday cake. Special thanks to John-David for posing the Barbie so that she appears to be in agony. I love you people!

weekend grading

i love sharks as always!

N&I treated ourselves to a few hours at the ATL Aquarium this morning after attending a three day classical education conference. The last time we went to this Aquarium, I did not bring my camera, so I took loads of photos this time. Buttercup did not go, but we got her a new stuffed friend to play with. I had a serious connection with the hammerhead.

New Fire and Garden photos

I took these photos this morning with the amazing new lens N gave me as an early birthday gift. This is our June garden, full of ripe blueberries surrounded by wildflowers, hydrangeas, crepe myrtles, roses, grapes, day lilies, herbs (i.e. the basil at top), and of course, one slightly burnt fence. To the left of the pergola is the English rose garden we planted this spring (this is the product of all the planning and photo rearrangment from several posts ago). It's looking great, despite the drought!

the weekend's tale

Irony. I have been thinking about fire for a few weeks and obviously posted some of those thoughts below. Lisa reminded me that Dawn Sweigart told us in Pensacola that fire changes the molecular structure of what it burns. Once something has gone through fire, it is never the same.

I asked my fence and yard about their new molecular structures, but no answer was uttered from the charred debris. Yep, right after I post about fire, something (probably behind our fence) spontaneously combusted in the noon sun and burns down part of our fence and yard, as well as our neighbors. Nathan Day said, "Did you call it down?" Perhaps. I'm holding off judgment on whether this is God's doing or the devil's. We'll see.

So, we had to come home from our soccer trip to Mississippi and miss seeing the Coplons who are in Destin. I ended up injuring my knee pretty badly anyway, and Nathan got thrown out of the semi-finals with a red card.

The highlight of the trip was spending time with Matt & Brady Hall. I so admire how they bring out the best in each other. They are full of life, and it was great fun to sit and talk for hours over seafood.

My 100th post

Okay...this post has nothing whatsoever to do with anything anniversarial or date-worthy. I just noticed that it was my 100th when I signed on to record my thoughts on...fire. I'm currently reading the Bible with careful attention to fire. This fascination is somewhat scholarly and came from musing about the classical depiction/ symbolism of fire in literary texts. Fire, religiously speaking, is usually connoted to be negative and essentially OF THE DEVIL. However, fire is so closely tied into who God is (his character/nature) and what he looks like (his actual physical attributes) that I am pretty sure God likes fire a lot. We should reevaluate our simplistic literary representations.

In the 66 books of the Bible, God mentions fire well over 400 times.

• Smoking firepots with “blazing torches” appear out of nowhere and burn up covenant sacrifices
• There are fire horses and fire chariots in the Bible
• Pillars of fire hang out in the atmosphere above a bunch of people walking around in a wilderness
• At certain times God apparently travels by fire
• His glory is described as looking like fire
• Fire can be authorized or unauthorized
• Burning bushes appear out of nowhere
• The presence of God can and has shot out fire
• It’s a hangout for four pretty interesting living creatures (think of a cherubim that has a bull’s head)
• Fire is an instrument of purity
• It can fall from heaven
• His love burns for us like blazing fire
• There is a spirit of fire
• The Light of Israel will become a fire
• We will walk through fire and not be burned
• We are not supposed to put out the Spirit’s fire
• There are fire-breathing lion-look-alike horses (yea, I like this one too)
• It’s maybe mixed with a sea of glass in John’s vision of heaven
• God is described as consuming fire and as a fire that goes ahead of us and devours our enemies! Rock on.
• Let’s not forget, there are fire angels, whatever those may be (perhaps sparking the sequel to “Touched by an Angel” entitled “Burnt by an Angel”)
• It is the characteristic of Jesus’ eyes…they are blazing fire
• And of course, there’s a lake of it

Leviticus says over and over, “The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out.” And I suspect, this is a major reason why we sing, “Fire fall down...” If you want to be purified and refined with all sin melted away…if you want to be consumed by God’s love, His passionate love for you…if you want your life to be a sweet-smelling aroma to God…if you want His glory to fall all around you…if you need to be led by Him out of a dry place…if you need your enemies defeated for you…and if you want to see Jesus…Call it down.

Take away from me the noise of your songs;
I will not even listen to the sounds of your harps.
But let justice roll down like waters
And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

just for you

May the frost never afflict your spuds.
May the leaves of your cabbage always be free from worms.
May the crows never pick your haystack.
If you inherit a donkey, may she be in foal.

--an old Gaelic blessing

anyone want to come over and play?

Her songs are so reflective!

threads

It's been two months since I've posted. People have probably even stopped checking. I almost forgot how to log-in.

These past two months have been...well...they've been, and I've been, but sometimes only barely.

These months have had some interesting quote moments:

Overheard on a bus: "If they had said, 'The vacuum is your mother!' it would have been very Sophocles-like."

Overheard at a soccer game: "Uh-huh! Mr. Ireland was too a foot model before he came to Providence!"

Overheard in my living room: "My wife is crazy but in a good way, kinda like the bunny is crazy but in a good way."

Overheard myself say, "I promise I didn't get my job because I'm related to anyone in the Alabama, particularly anyone with the last name Wallace."

These months have brought some major changes:

Jen graduated with her M.A.

Buttercup had her first major injury, which subjected our carpet to some serious blood stains. (She's okay now).

People have passed away.

People have been born.

I finished out the school year with a new status: tenure.

My marriage has been at times covered by a soil that feeds it and inspires it to grow wonderfully. At other times, it is covered by the last soil thrown on a newly settled casket. This is new.

Scott came by to tell me Eddins and Rand were retiring. I was sad because Rand is someone who I wish would live forever. And teach forever. He is a right of passage. When I left, he gave me a book from his personal library and told me to do something important. In some ways, he is still my conscience.

These months I have been creative in other ways:

I have photographed and altered and experimented.

My work has danced in sepia.

For the first time, I spray-painted something and it looked terrible. I have unusually good luck with spray paint...usually.

I have designed more for work than in the past. They are feeding this, rather than suppressing it, and I have new toys on my office computer.

I have held close to my heart a poetic conceit that sums up the sorrow of this past year but have been concerned about writing it down because it uses the word "membrane," and that's not the right word. The image tells me it's not.

just a leaf...alive

I am reminded how much we cling to life--noticing new life and holding passionately to life we have already have--in the face of death and tragedy.

new blooms...the bulbs are coming up