i still believe in pluto

it's 2:30 a.m.

i'm a rather sickly girl and can't sleep.

butters has been insane today--she ripped out 1/3 of her hair and piled it up in my bedroom. she also made a new hole in the magic carpet. nathan said: "female rabbits pull their hair out when pregnant in order to make nests." okay people, expect some half teddybear/ half fuzzy lop babies soon...or however long rabbits take to wombinate their young.

school ends in 5 days, and then i have to work an extra week. i am really ready. i have had the days counted down since last november.

i had this thought about having "study days" this summer where we go to the library and read about something new. but i was too chicken to voice this idea.

it's been a while since i've played ultimate. or tennis for that matter. or talked to suzannah. or worn diapers.

the end.

stolen time

Drat.

N's reading my book. MY book...the one I began and am now into 300+ pages.

He loves it. So much...that printed pages and binding lay captive in his lap--his fingers tightening around the edges so that his nails pale from gripping.

H'ain't givin' it back, people. Not until he's through.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

This morning we went to Tony and Jen's, shared doughnuts, and played with Sam and Joshua, who are so loving. I had really come to the place in the past few months where I thought maybe kids weren't for us. We don't have the time or the energy or the money, it seems. But, there's still a little bit of a desire there, I noticed, as I wiped snot from a tiny, smiley 9 month old.

a truck for hauling grass

I had really, really prayed that we would one day be able to get Nathan a better car. He is an extremely humble person when it comes to material things--in fact, I can't think of any time since I've known him where he made a selfish decision out of materialism.

For many years, he has driven an old, strangely green Accord. He has never complained. He has been frustrated with it when it stopped functioning and various parts actually rotted beyond repair, but never has he complained about what other items people have compared to him.

So, I am very excited that he recently purchased his first new car ever--and it was exactly what he wanted ("something blue that can haul around everything we need for our garden").

John Claypool, a former Birmingham priest, defines Christianity as "one beggar showing another beggar where to find bread."

simple

lovely

true

so far from gray-inked hypocrisy that has spilt onto the master'spiece.

resting

i deeply desire to scratch below the accumulated layers of silt that have blown over my roots these past few seasons. i want to expose myself to warmth and sun, declaring this a new day, a new moment for green growth. but then the moment passes and the desire fades--a shadowed thought that never was quite shadow because it never did block sun. i am not --however-- without growth. winter's last chill wind puppets more earth to lay still above me, a hill of calm concealment.

all this to say...

i am too lazy to write deeply or wax lovely...

so i'll just post some photos.

reduce

Makes me want to squeeze-hug my pillow:

• a husband who indulges my Gilmore Girls marathons
• a sister who shares the secret of Miranda
• granola
• things that grow in my yard
• cafepress.com

Makes me want to find a secret room at Hogwarts and not come out:

• essay grading
• hurt toes
• some of the judgemental, unhappy, gossipy people I work with
• some birds