salvation...going...going...gone (?)

I know theology. Whether or not I've followed it perfectly at every moment my entire life, I was at least privy to constant study and discussion of theological matters.

Mark Fleming recently lent me the books Black, Red, and White. They are amazing, and ask my husband, I cried like a baby when reading them. But they definitely present a picture of not losing your salvation. Once you've washed in the lake of blood, your disease is washed off and you can never again "catch" the disease of the Horde.

And yet I'm not sure our reality works that way. My heart is heavy today for some of my friends...some of whom were once the most solid, passionate, faith-filled people I have ever been around. Today, they have abandoned their beliefs in a way that is defiant and blasphemous. I know some would say that "well, they must never have been saved in the first place." I think that's bull. I am certain they are/ were saved. They had washed in that lake, and it was evident. But somehow they are covered with the Horde's disease again (sorry for those of you haven't read the book; it just happens to redefine my religious language at the moment). Scripturally, I've never seen a clear picture of losing salvation, but in the reality of their lives, it seems so certain to me. Unless God saves us regardless of our defiantly turning our backs on Him and living lives that hate what He is about.

And I'd like to think that's how He works. But I wonder how that can be with a Holy God who puts so much emphasis on our willing hearts and personal choices.